


The Frog-Prince

by Ashray



Series: Mission Insane [3]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Fairy Tales, Humor, Insanity, M/M, Minor Violence, One-Shot, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-26
Updated: 2010-05-26
Packaged: 2017-10-09 17:37:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/89900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashray/pseuds/Ashray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bakura finds inspiration in win Ryous love in an old fairy tale, and so he brings back a 'lost' car  <br/>Abuse of an old, helpless fairytale. <br/>Also, abuse of an old, not-so helpless Yami.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Frog-Prince

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** Frog Prince
> 
> **Pairing:** Bakura/Ryou
> 
> **Genre: **Humor
> 
> **Warning:** Abuse of an old, helpless fairytale. Also, abuse of an old, not-so helpless Yami. And a rather violent, tormented Hikari   
> Bakura finds inspiration in win Ryous love in an old fairy tale, and so he brings back a 'lost' car

. - * - .

Bakura sat on a bench in the park and waited.  
Waited for his sweet little Hikari to call him.

The thief was pretty sure that he didn't need to wait for much longer for his plan to get started  
He snickered to himself and twisted a thin book in his hands. He had stumbled over this interesting book a few days ago, and it gave him a great idea to win his Light finally over.

"Just wait, little Hikari. Not long, and you will be mine. And then I never let you go again…"   
He began to laugh until he nearly fell from the bench, and the other peoples tried to avoid the insane man as much as they could.  
A few pigeons and squirrels scamper off, at least as little stones were thrown at them. The poor animals couldn't understand why Bakura was always so damn mean to them…

Still chuckling, he looked through the small book again where his whole plan was exactly described and recorded.

Suddenly Bakuras laughter was interrupted from the sound of a frog dieing a painful death:  
"Yes?" Bakura asked calmly in his cell phone.   
He heard the nervous and slightly panicked voice of his Hikari on the other end, just like expected.

"So you lost your father's car?"  
"…"  
"Don't worry, I will help you!"  
"…"  
"No, I don't plan to kill innocents for no reason!"  
"…"  
"Okay, I will not torture the pharaoh with it!"   
'But I should have done that, instead of waiting here for your call. Damn! Why didn't I think of that?'  
"…"  
"Can I get a reward if I find and bring it back to you?!"  
"…"  
"I don't want to tell you that! Just wait until I get home, you will know soon enough…"  
He didn't wait what the other said and just shoved his phone back in his pocket.  
Perfectly.  
Now he just had to get home and collect the fruits of his hard work…

. - * - .

Shortly after their little talk he was at their front door where his beautiful Light was waiting for him.  
"Hey, Hikari, look what I found!" and he pointed at the car in which he came.

The car that he parked in the driveway after the closed garage stopped him…  
Ryou just blinked at him with wide eyes before he calmly turned around and allowed Bakura in.  
With a satisfied grin the tomb robber followed him.   
Everything went according to plan!  
"I brought it back, just like I promised!" he boasted while he nearly undressed Ryou with his eyes…

"Yes, you brought it…" Ryou said slowly. He ignored his gaze and walked around the couch to grab something Bakura couldn't see.  
"And as a reward-" he was cut short as something flew past his face. Right beside his left cheek stuck a knife in the wall!  
One of his own Knives, to be exact!  
Thrown by no one else then his own Hikari!

"Hey! That's not how it works!"  
"And how is it supposed to work,_ 'o great master of plotting and planning'?" _  
Suddenly Ryou didn't look fluffy and harmless anymore.   
To Bakura, he looked quite scary with that big heap of sharp weapons lying at his feet.  
His hair seems to move on its own like hissing snakes, worse then his own spiky hair, and the air around him seems to burn.  
Bakura pressed his back more against the wall.   
_This _is really _not _how his Hikari was supposed to behave!  
Ryou should invite him in with a smile and then kiss and hug him, just like the princess in the story!

"There is no need to be sarcastically. And how did you even find my secret stash?" Bakura asked with a pout as his 'sweet' Ryou glared angrily at him:  
"Did you really think I wouldn't notice that stuff sticking out from under your bed? There is not enough room to hide all your little toys!   
And now answer my question!"

"If you really want to know:   
I bring your lost ball back and get to keep you as a reward! You were supposed to fall in love with me and kiss and marry me after I keep my promise!_  
That _was how it is supposed to be!"  
**  
"You steal my father's brand new car!" **  
A knife just missed his right cheek.  
**  
"You drive it around without knowing what the hell you are even doing there!"**  
Another knife, and Bakura didn't dare to move in fear they would hurt him accidentally. He was sure Ryou wouldn't hit him on purpose, but accidents happen…  
**  
"Who know how many people you run over before the garage door stopped you!"**  
A shiny knife beside his ankle. It even pinned his jeans to the wall!  
**  
"That car is a weapon in your hands!"**  
A second knife by the other ankle.  
**  
"Now you bring it back and claim that you found it!"**  
Another knife, beside his right shoulder.  
**  
"Without the car roof!"**  
Beside his left shoulder.  
**  
"With broken headlights!"**  
A short sword stuck beside his knee  
**  
"It has bumps and dents everywhere!"**  
Another short sword on the other side.  
**  
"The door of the garage is also damaged!"**  
One of his small axes hit the wall beside his hip on his left side, and Bakura lost the last color in his face.   
That was close!  
**  
"The car paint is gone, and so is the garages'!"**  
Again followed the same weapon on the other side, too.  
**  
"All four tires are flat!"**  
A spiked mace hit the wall just above his spiky head!  
**  
"And you have the nerve to tell me that I should thank you for that stunt?!!! Are you out of your mind, or are you simply insane?"**  
A big broadsword crashed into the wall right between his feet!!!  
**  
"Stop! That's enough, no more, I give up! Please Hikari, just wait a moment! At last give me a chance to say something!"**  
Time to end this game...   
That last hit was a little too close to one of his most favorite body parts for his own comfort.   
He put his hands in the air in capitulation and slowly moved away from his wall.  
He looked back at all the weapons that stuck firmly in the wall…   
"You should go to the circus as a knife-thrower. Bet they would adore you with such skills…" He said with a trembling voice, until Ryou threatened him with several throwing-stars.

"Now tell me, my dear, beloved Dark…" Ryou said with a suspicious sweet voice, "Why the hell do you think I would even _want _to go out with you after that, let alone _marry _you?!   
I should call the cops and let them arrest you!  
And what ball were you talking about?   
You _stole _a car!   
I didn't_ lose _it and you never _found _it!"

"This book here says it!   
The beautiful, pure princess looses her ball, or in your case- the car.   
Then the handsome, brave prince saves the day and brings it back to her.   
And then they fall in love and they live happily ever after!"

Ryou starred at one of his old fairytale-books that Bakura gave him.  
He looked up and Bakura thought everything was forgiven as Ryou, again, smiled at him.  
_(You think he would know it better…)_

He was so distracted by the small hands on his chest that he nearly didn't hear what his Light told him:  
"If you think you are a frog you shouldn't have a problem with sleeping outside in the garden. Go and find yourself a pound or a puddle."  
And before the Yami could react, Ryou shoved him out the door and shut it in his face with a loud bang.

. - * - .. - * - .  
END  
. - * - .. - * - .

**Author's Note:**

> _  
> Bakura stole the car just to bring it back. I know that the frog didn't steal the golden ball, the princess lost it.   
> But hey, this is Bakura we are talking about!   
> Why should he wait until Ryou lose the car, if he can simply steal it? But that don't mean he can drive it correctly!   
> There are a lot of destroyed cars and signs and hydrants along his way…  
> _  
> (I counted Ryou's reaction as _Violence_, that's why I put the warning up..)


End file.
